we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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