Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
