why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize