Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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