You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
