White coat. Heels.
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
