I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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