Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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