pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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