i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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