I puked a lego.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Farmville is her only friend.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize