My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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