honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
