I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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