Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize