her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
