On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
