your parents love me but you hate me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
