i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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