Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's never too late to be topless.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
