I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
