I accidentally had phone sex last night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
