I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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