If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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