On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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