You made me cry and you don't even care
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
