do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
