Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
