I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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