If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
