he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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