He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i dont even know how to be here
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize