I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
