Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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