Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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