You're so nebulous sometimes
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
