oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
