it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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