I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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