oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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