he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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