i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
