1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My first STD was from a foam party
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
