now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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