I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
