cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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