I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
