My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize