what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
