If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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