So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize