PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
