You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
