Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
two words: eviction party
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
