And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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