you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
