meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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