remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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