For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
