all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
