I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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