i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
