Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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