I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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