oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
