Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
