Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
